Three hoodies save the world

Constant moaning and whinging about everything

Apparently I wasn’t in pain – until I went to the dentist

“There’s a lot of holes in here. “What happened?”
And there was me thinking I’d gone to the dentist. I looked hurriedly around in case I’d wandered into the newsagent by mistake.”

“You took them out.” His face fell as if the very concept was one he’d never come across before. “But feel free to put them back if you like.”
Ignoring my attempts at humour he asked, “So what seems to be the problem?

“Duuurrr, pain, real hurty pain, in my teeth.” He frowned, unimpressed by my scathing wit and examined the xrays he’d just taken. I pointed to the offending gnasher to no avail. He poked and prodded every tooth in my mouth and then in desperation at my absolute refusal to scream, reverted to plan B by cramming my mouth full of ice and set about smashing my teeth with an iron bar – or so it felt.

“Any pain now?” he enquired hopefully, staring up towards the tastefully lowered ceiling where I was hanging by my fingernails.

“*** you” I almost screamed but contented myself with “Of course there’s pain. I’ve got toothache!!! ”

“Well it’s your own fault, you haven’t been here for two years.” I wonder why.

“The only thing wrong with your teeth is that they’re filthy, he shuddered in revulsion as he recovered from the sight of my ghastly maw. “They’ll need to be scaled. Are you using that Hollywood Gleem?” He often speaks in italics, perhaps as a result of listening to gibberish or the screams of his victims all day.

“Because if you are you’d better stop as what’s left of your pearly whites will be history in six months. Get some Repair and Protect.”

“Ah,” I said, quite cleverly I thought, ” but you can’t repair, or renew enamel according to you.”

“This stuff can.” I decided not to enquire if he was on some kind of retainer from Colgate as he turned with a flourish. “That’ll be…..pounds.”

“What about the National Health?” He smiled indulgently as if enduring the questions of a small child or particularly dense simpleton.

“Not for teeth. Come back next month and we’ll clean them. That’ll be the end of your problems.” He’d cleverly cleared anything with which I might have slaughtered him so I left with a snarl.

And if all that were not bad enough, on the way back from the alleged dentist I stopped off to get my hair cut. Now I’m fully aware that the flushes of my youth are gone but afterwards the cheeky little sod asked if I wanted a pensioner’s discount. I nearly stabbed him with his own scissors

Advertisements

Single Post Navigation

2 thoughts on “Apparently I wasn’t in pain – until I went to the dentist

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Proof Perfectly

Editing - Copywriting - Advice

Robbie's inspiration

Ideas on writing and baking

The Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

Can webcomics get any weirder?

Mom's Journey To Her First Book

Weekly struggles and lessons of an aspiring novelist

The Task at Hand

A Writer's On-Going Search for Just the Right Words

Doodlewash

Adventures in Watercolor Painting and Sketching, Watercolour Magazine, with Charlie O'Shields

Nicholas C. Rossis

Award-winning, dream-protecting author

ramblingsfromthedarkness.wordpress.com/

Blogging from your phone has never been so...full of typos?

authorsinterviews

My interviews with many authors

The Gloria Sirens

Leap Out of the Deep and Sing

tressiemc

some of us are brave

The Insatiable Traveler

World Travel | Award-winning Photography| Inspiration | Tips

The Confluence

A weblog for Democrats in Exile

karenjonesgowen

author, editor, cookie baker

Beyond Victoriana

A Multicultural Perspective on Steampunk

Susartandfood's Blog

A taste of humor about life, art and food

Writing for Kids (While Raising Them)

Blog & website of children's book author Tara Lazar

Through The Wardrobe

Book review blog from a literary commuter

%d bloggers like this: