Back to some juvenile fun.
I’ve just finished the second edit of Three Hoodies 3, a book I finished over two years ago but never got around the publishing.
I hope it makes people laugh because it makes me giggle, but then I always did have a curious sense of humour. I plan to publish it, along with kongomato3 and Old Geezers 3 at the same time, hopefully later this year.
Here’s a bit. Sad, or Sad-case is one of the characters, named after a friend when I was a child who for some reason was known (even to his parents) as Sad-case.
‘Hah! You hope to save your solar system from certain annihilation. I suspect that you couldn’t even set your video without seeking assistance from the idiots guide. You?’ The computer paused, its smugness almost tangible. And it had that teachers’ voice. The one they put on when they’d just explained something they considered a fundamental truth. Something they’d been learning about in college for years but sprung it on you only a few seconds after the beginning of term. ‘So there.’
Again they all jumped back in panic at the sound and the shape of Derrick leaping furiously towards the computer and delivering several furious kicks and punches which merely served to hurt his fists, but at least achieved the effect of quieting that maddening voice. But clearly not enough violence to assuage his sudden thirst, Derrick then prized the entire computer from the floor, a difficult job being about the size of a small cupboard. Though it seemed that fury had lent him wings for with a noise reminiscent of innards torn being torn from a live animal, several cables snapped free, writhing about his head for a moment as if endowed with life of their own. Then lifting the huge grey box above his head with a strength none of them had ever assumed of their usually docile friend, he tossed the whole thing against the wall where it landed with an impressive bang, a shower of sparks, small puff of smoke and then silence; the whole thing now just a very expensive but otherwise useless door stop.
‘Well that wasn’t very clever, was it?’ Sarah’s quiet tone clearly illustrated her total lack of admiration at their childish behaviour ‘What do you think Gladys is going to do when she finds out what we’ve done to a presumably very expensive computer? What if it’s the one that keeps all the planets from bumping into each other?’
‘Don’t care.’ Derrick sniffed mutinously. ‘Don’t need any box of wires telling us we’re a bunch of nob-heads. Sad could do that and he’s thick.’
‘Yeah. Hey, watch it.’