Three Hoodies Save the World

Constant moaning and whinging about everything

Archive for the month “January, 2016”

Finally joining the big boys.

Not only am I buying a computer fast enough to bring me out of the dark ages, but finally I’m getting fibre Broadband.

‘So what?’ I hear you say.

You have to remember that this country has the slowest broadband speed in the known galaxy. My upload speed is about 75K – I could write faster than that. And my fastest download speed has never risen above 4Mbit, and that’s in the middle of the night, on a Sunday, on a holiday and providing there isn’t anything on the TV that anyone in the entire country wants to watch, and that FaceBook and Twitter are both off line at the same time.

Ten years ago I worked for a company whose head office was in Singapore, and they had a broadband speed (then) of 1 Gbit and they thought it was boring. “Well doesn’t everyone have the same speed?” they demanded, knowing full well that everyone else didn’t.

So tomorrow I’m switching to fibre, and do you know what my pitiful demand was of the service provider? I wanted an absolute guarantee of 10 mbit, because I have a teenage daughter.

“Well, it might be a bit tricky but I can perhaps get you…

“No, I want ten – minimum.”

You’d think I was asking for the world and not something the rest of humanity takes for granted.

Can’t wait. No more buffering for five minutes just to see the pop up adds for things I don’t even want so that I can turn them off.

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Owl of Doubt

Suddenly they all died. The end.

DSC_0493Darkness brings with it
The return of my doubts, my
Fears. No matter what

I tell myself in
The daylight hours, they will not
Be silenced. Ev’ry

Night they come, for now
And forever, nor will they
Be banished from my

Door. Like the owl
Outside my window, they will
Never, ever leave;

Their raucous hoots and
Howls haunt my ears, driving
Me slowly insane.

(c) 2016. All rights reserved.

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My ickle daughter’s leaving.

1400527255

“Oh, dad.”

That was when I became confused. Notice the absolute lack of pejorative remarks. No: “Dadsky,” or “pater,” or even “You hate me and wish I was…” etc. In fact nothing at all.

Steeling myself I mumbled a reply of sorts and waited for whatever was to come.

“Me and…” I resisted the compulsion to correct her grammar as I was already afraid.

It seems that my daughter and a friend are going to New York for a holiday.

Eeeks!! My baby is travelling five thousand miles without me. Yes I know she’s almost twenty one but she’s still my baby.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve spent a lot of time in the US and loved it. My personal fave place was Beverly hills where I spent an inordinate amount of time mingling with the the rich and famous. I also visited Manhattan numerous times where I found the driving to be so easy I wish I lived there all the time.

But still, my baby in New York. I can hardly stop her as she is a legal adult (it’s 18 over here)

So, please, be nice to her. But not too nice. I don’t want her deciding that America is better than England, which in reality is the case, and deciding to stay. She’s too young and I’m too selfish.

Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally did it. Crawling away to edit my three novels after working more hours per day than is probably legal, I’ve finally completed all of them, and now I can take a year off writing to learn how to paint and write that computer game I’ve been planning for years. Can’t wait.

Here’s the latest of the three.
Geezers35
Progeny 9
hood34
I probably won’t touch them again until I’ve learnt to pain a little better. Or, I’ll just take the easy way out and pay someone else to do it for me.

Now I just have to do the hardest thing for any painter, sculptor or writer – which is to say leave them alone.

Please welcome the newest addition to our family.

One of my daughter’s Christmas presents – not from me, was Ellie.

ellie

She’s a miniature Shetland pony of about eighteen months old. And yes, she really is the approximate size of a malnourished gerbil.

But I like her. She may be small but Richie, my daughter’s brain dead 17 something hand horse has already been put in his place and stopped treating her as a between meal snack after almost losing his nose on the second attempt.

Louis the Limp welcomed her with open hooves and they’re happily sharing a stable and playing horsey type games together. I just hope he remembers she’s there after his bed is changed and he performs his rotating horse manoeuvre on the clean shavings, as he does every day.

Two down, one to go.

Eighteen re-writes isn’t bad for me. Hopefully it will be enough but finally Progeny of Kongomato is finished, after my wonderful, brilliant, terrific beta reader has said so, of course.

Progeny10

This might be how London looks this morning after last night’s mammoth firework display; I haven’t looked yet.

Now only one remains, Old Geezers 3 and then I take a year off to learn how to paint, and sit with my wife for the first time in weeks before she carries out her threat to extract several quite important pieces of my anatomy. She hasn’t been specific and I don’t really want to pursue it.

Happy new year to you all.

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