As previously mentioned, for the first time in twenty five years I decided not to build, but buy a computer. The machine I bought isn’t bad but needs more RAM (temporary memory) to give it a little more byte – sorry. This job could be performed by a retarded mullet in about three minutes; and that includes taking off the back of the machine.
I thus went to a closer branch of the shop than where I bought it, the largest computer chain in England and proceeded to the KnowHow section – the part where all the alleged nerds work.
“I bought a computer last week and it needs more RAM. Would I be correct in assuming that doing it myself would invalidate the warranty?” I had to say this a second time to the young lady more interested in the rear end of a male shopper than my mundane request.
“Yeah, that would bugger the warranty.” I didn’t know that particular word was a nerdy phrase. I’ll have to remember.
“So if I bring it here will you do it?”
“Cos’ that’ll bugger the warranty.”
“So can I send it back to ******, then?”
“But they won’t do it because it’ll bugger the warranty.” Becoming a teensy bit narked now I asked as politely as I could what I should do.
“Well, you could take it to an authorised computer repair shop.”
“But I’ve been doing it myself for twenty five years.”
“Yeah, but they’re authorised.” I was past a teensy bit annoyed now and approaching pi**** off.
“So will that be alright then, if I take it to a properly authorised repair shop?” I asked happily.
“No. that will bugger the warranty.’
More to follow when I’ve stopped biting the keyboard.