Three Hoodies Save the World

Constant moaning and whinging about everything

Archive for the month “October, 2017”

A train ride to hell

I had to go to sunny Devon yesterday.

Upon leaving Paddington station it was beneath a startling azure sky, shimmering heat (although that could just have been the taxi fumes) and a gentle zephyr rustling what’s left of my hair.

All the way to Pusey, wherever that is, I basked in the heat blasting though the train windows. The moment, the very nanosecond we left Taunton station a tiny black cloud began to grow and move at alarming speed. Even faster than the train, which for a change was overtaking crippled wildlife until it became a battle between the huge stormhead and us. Even at approximately one hundred miles per hour the train could no longer keep up with the awful black wall hurtling towards, and finally past us. By the time we shuddered into Tiverton it was freezing, wet, and awful.

Apocalypse aside I did get some decent writing done and now I’m almost ten pages into Sod’s Law 2. I know it’s a little presumptive of me to begin the sequel to a novel I haven’t even finished editing yet. But I had me an idea which might work well if I can ditch all logic and revert to my usual childish style of writing. It might not sell many books but makes me laugh, and if that’s not what writing is all about then I don’t know what is.

Image courtesy of google images. It was worse than that but I couldn’t find anything cataclysmal enough for what I saw yesterday.

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Greneth: Halloween Hijinks

If it’s from Jo, then it’s got to be good.

Amaranthine by Joleene Naylor

Just in time for Halloween!

A cartoon vampire on the “haunted house” advertisement catches Greneth’s eyes. Then, a couples-only discount sweetens the deal, if he can find someone to take. Griselda seems the perfect choice, but when she starts asking silly questions – like just what is a haunted house, anyway? – and talking about so-called real ghosts, he wonders if he’s made the right choice.

Can be read as a stand alone.

Get it FREE on:

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Edit number three sorted.

I’ve finished the third edit of my new book. Blah blah, editing stuff. Mumble, mumble, writing nonsense.

Okay. Got that out of my hair.

I’ve got a whole week off and don’t know what to do with myself. I’m currently typing on a keyboard liberated from my (alleged) daughter’s bedroom which means that I can’t do anything else until I drag my scraggy posterior down to the shops and buy another. Oh what shall I do?

Not that I’ve got much money to do anything after forking out £800 to have the eye of my daughter’s largest horse extracted. I offered to do it myself but curiously she rebuffed my kindness with a very rude word. There’s just no pleasing some people.

So, after much, or very little thought I’m going to do what I’ve been promising myself for weeks – no, not extracting the teeth from her pony who should, just about now be preparing to bite her Iphone 7, or whatever it is, in half again in preparation for my spawn’s demand for the next one, or even heaven forbid the Iphone X.

“oh, come on, she whined last week, “It’s only a thousand pounds.”

Of course we’ve all got a thousand quid to waste. Why just a few days ago I dumped my scooter in favour of a Lamborghini because I was bored.

Getting away from the point. I’m going to bed. And I’m going to remain there for the next three days until my beloved turfs me out. Just like she did last Saturday afternoon, barely bothering to hide the hammer in her twitching right hand.

This is what I’d rather be doing – forever.

Second edit done.

It’s taken me two weeks because I don’t get much time these days, but I’ve finally finished edit number two of Sod’s Law.

All the plot holes are gone (I hope) and the next edit, after a few days off, will be to refine the writing. I have a bad habit of writing extraordinarily long sentences split sporadically by semi colons and commas. I used to copy Oscar Wilde who could make a sentence last a whole page. But he was better at it than me. These days I have to edit them all away.

Edit number four will be the one I hate, all the error thingys. Still, it’s for a good cause. My twentieth novel should be my best. Yes, I know every new novel should be the best thing I ever wrote and I do strive for that but twenty is quite a milestone for me. Admittedly three were so bad I didn’t even try to edit them but just tossed all the paper in the trash. That’s probably when I stopped writing all my first drafts with a pen, and discovered the wonderful new invention of Word – Ver 1a. Yes it was that long ago.

So, onto some painting and this time I’ll keep them all to myself. My changeover to (simulated) oil is not going very well and I won’t offend anyone’s eyes with my scrawl.

Franklin: The Promise – FREE short story

Amaranthine by Joleene Naylor

In time for the eight year anniversary of Shades of Gray, comes Franklin, the story of the attack on Oren’s coven, from the Executioners’ eyes.

franklin

 Smashwords | Amazon | Kobo | iTunes | Google Play 

(Coming to Barnes & Noble)

After one hundred years of silence, The Hand of Death is on the radar again – and Franklin is assigned to deal with the situation. Part of a team, they discover it’s not just Jorick who’s involved, but also the Tormentor, Kateesha. In a battle against legends, what can go wrong? Celebrate Shades of Gray’s eighth anniversary and read the attack on Oren’s den through the Executioner’s point of view.

WARNING: This story contains spoilers for the novel Shades of Gray. Not recommended as a stand alone.

FRANKLIN SPECIAL COVER 2.jpg

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It’s Been Eight Years…

Come on; you know you want it.

Amaranthine by Joleene Naylor

Eight years ago I published Shades of Gray. One reviewer noted that, though the book was listed as Book 1 in a series, there was no evidence of any more books coming. How things have changed since then! With nine novels, a prequel, and forty-eight short stories to date, the Amaranthine universe is rolling along nicely.

To celebrate eight years, the newest Tales of the Executioners takes place during Shades of Gray!

franklin

After one hundred years of silence, The Hand of Death is on the radar again – and Franklin is assigned to deal with the situation. Part of a team, they discover it’s not just Jorick who’s involved, but also the Tormentor, Kateesha. In a battle against legends, what can go wrong? Celebrate the eight year anniversary of Shades of Gray and read the attack on Oren’s den through the Executioner’s point of view.

WARNING: This…

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I’m a dumbkopf

I’ve been writing blogs on WordPress for a couple of years now and only tonight discovered something.

So, for all of you who have been good enough to comment on my blogs, I apologise, deeply, humbly.

It was only tonight that I realised that I could actually see the comments as they don’t actually appear on my blog; but more to the point, answer them.

So I will, promptly.

 

No dogs bit me today.

Today I had absolutely nothing to do. As previously mentioned I’ve finally got rid of Sky television so there was nothing to watch on the box. The only thing that’s really changed is that I’ve got nothing to watch but am no longer paying £69 per month for being bored witless and screaming abuse at the ads which now appear about every twelve seconds; or rather, don’t as I’ve got rid of Sky TV.

So With no more excuses that I could come up with I got down to some editing and am pleased to report that by next weekend I’ll be able to send my newest tome out to my beta readers. It always worries me after I ask them to be truthful, wondering if the MS will be returned with ABSOLUTE CRAP!!!! appended to the last page. But I’d rather know before I publish it. I’ll still edit it half a dozen times more before that day arrives but at least I’ll know if I should begin all over again.

It has changed somewhat during the second and third rewrite. It was meant to be a parody but lest I was accused of copying certain other well known writers who are much better at that sort of thing than I, I’ve given up and changed it (subtly I hope) to my version of subdued comedy. The proof will be in the reading.

Here’s a retouched version of one of my earlier paintings. I’ve been trying really hard with ArtRage and the fact that is difficult is what makes me really enjoy it.

I know it’s rubbish but after Sod’s Law is done I’ll really put some time into it.

A dog bit me.

This is just one of the reasons I’ve used to save me from editing.

Don’t get me wrong, I love everything about writing books but after the third edit all the energy seems to drain away.

So here is a list of the reasons I’ve used to avoid editing:

A dog bit me (true) but as it was only a mild scratch it didn’t work too well, especially as the mutt was about the size of a mutant hamster.

Someone almost killed me on my motorbike and my hand hurts. Also true but as that happens every time I get onto the thing it’s a bit girly even for me.

Someone tried to steal my motorbike but only succeeded in trashing it. Also true but hardly a good reason for me to be sitting in my room sobbing like a baby.

My computer’s broke. True-ish. I was downloading yet another update of windows 10 at the time. Admittedly it did take three days since it crashed every time I tried to install it.

My mouse is broke. That was an outright cheat since I’m so old I still remember all the pre-mouse keyboard shortcuts.

My wife moaned at me. But then she always does if I don’t dig the garden more often than once a decade. She’s touchy like that.

I’ve just had another idea for a book. That’s also true but since I have an enormous file on my pc with about fifty ideas for new books, not really enough.

Alright. I’ve had enough of whining, so it’s back to editing. Except that my big toe is throbbing a little. Hey, that might work for a couple of days.

FREE: Verchiel: Never-Ending Question

Get it. They’re always great.

Amaranthine by Joleene Naylor

VERCHIEL SPECIAL COVER2

Verchiel wakes up in an unfamiliar room with a busty woman standing over him. He can’t recall who she is – or even who he is – let alone how he’s become an immortal blood drinker. As he tries to discover the answers, he must also learn to control his blood lust or fight an entire village of panicked people.

Get yours today!

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Verchiel

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